fact.
So. We assume that things are never, ever as one would expect them. More often than not, in fact, are much worse. And this is my chance.
I do not want the whining - but, oh my, is in fact a tendency of some families' congenital - but just be realistic. A year ago I was no longer in the skin to the idea of finally and definitively come out from high school, and college seemed more or less like a mirage that with each passing day more and more concrete contours acquired. everything will be different, I thought, I'll be much freer . I will be able to manage the study and have as much free time now, and do a lot of things.
Like hell.
Capiamoci: do not do all that is so disgusting. The environment is quite different from that of high school and I met wonderful people with whom I'll be right, but the notes are much more painful for many of the points. Type the stress. Type the study, which is double than before. Type the nervous breakdown and my usual magnet for bad luck that leads me to bump into Professor bastard bowl, turn to me even though I was well prepared (do not say 30, cabbage, but a nice 27 there was everything). Type write three exams within a month and a half - business entirely harmful to the integrity of my nervous system. Or, to reach the limits of sociopathy and lose what little respect it had itself themselves.
Okay, a slight tendency to self-pity I've always had it, but this time not just victims. That is, you can not live with 'is pressure on him, you can not be thrown in a manner so sudden from a class in which, during the five years I have always been the one that passed all the tasks, a course in where the level of overall performance makes me look like a pale little girl by the intellect rather mediocre. We can not get used in a few weeks necessary to study a subject on three different books for five hundred pages each. Above all, there that my continuing to destroy the soul that I am not committed enough - it's all so discouraging . It 'makes sense that if things do not go how I am going to destroy me, and I do even more if you bring home a twenty-six after the first review I just expressions of disapproval.
In all my contacts with the outside world diminished, and only in these last days I'm starting to get out a bit 'more. I can not lose the will to do anything because of one study that does not make as hoped, or I can ruin their days on the books. And then, if I want to write, I do. Inspiration can not and do not want to suppress it in any way.
It 's hard, it's hard to university life.
0 comments:
Post a Comment